HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN A HIGHLY SENSITIVE CHILD?

Dealing with a highly sensitive child is a BIG CHALLENGE. You never know what they are going to feel and how they are going to react towards a particular situation.

You might be saying something very normal but that thing might be hurting their feelings. I can completely relate to a highly sensitive child because I have been one throughout my life. Raising me was an emotional challenge for my parents. I must say, especially my mother. I used to think for hours about things that my siblings didn’t even bother about. This is how a highly sensitive child behaves.

I guess highly sensitive children get emotionally triggered very easily. In this blog, I will explain what a highly sensitive child is and:

HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN A HIGHLY SENSITIVE CHILD?

I am mentioning confidence here because sensitive children lack confidence. They keep things in their heart. It is very difficult for them to speak up for themselves. I believe I have got this confidence at the age of 33 after three children.

What are the Highly Sensitive Child Symptoms

To identify which one of your kids is a highly sensitive child and how to build confidence in a highly sensitive child you must know the symptoms. This is similar to the diagnosis of a disease. However, being sensitive is not a disease nor an issue.

My observation is that older children are more sensitive. Maybe because they get more attention from their parents. 

Let’s have a look at the highly sensitive child symptoms:

More Reactive to Over-Stimulation	HSC’s are more reactive to any changes in the external environment. These include changes in the light,sounds, textures and smells.Such children are more comfortable with routine. Any changes in the texture of cloth, food, sleep routine can disturb them.My younger one is very comfortable with his crib. So whenever I visit my mum he finds it very difficult to sleep and gives me a very hard time.
Notice and Feel Minor Changes	Here the changes are different. These changes include mood changes, personality changes, facial expressions and moods. They feel the effect of their mother’s bad mood more severely. My younger sister never got bothered by the mood swings of my mother as much as they did me. I could keep thinking why she was in a bad mood when she was all normal.
Bad Compliance with Change	Change is an enemy for highly sensitive children. This is what makes this question difficult:HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN A HIGHLY SENSITIVE CHILD?It is because life is all about change. If your kids are not good with going with the flow how will they evolve.Joining a new school or starting a new academic year with new teachers was always an emotional experience for me.
Very Empathetic	This symptom is a quality as well. Highly sensitive children are more sensitive to other’s feelings and moods. My middle one is a very sensitive child because he is very empathetic as well.But this can be a problem. Empathetic kids sometimes make decisions to please others and not because they want to.

Highly Sensitive Child Traits

Intense Need for Control	I can feel this trait. Yes! Highly sensitive children have an intense need for control. During my academic time whether a group study or a project I always wanted to have control of everything.This is a very repulsive trait for other people. Most of the time I was lucky to find people who had no issue with this trait. However, nobody likes controlling people.HSC’s have the urge to control because they feel that this can help them make the matters more controllable.
Perfectionism	Perfectionism is a built in trait for highly sensitive children. I have been a perfectionist my entire life. This is what makes me depressed sometimes because NOTHING AND NOONE CAN BE PERFECT.The constant urge to make everything and become perfect makes me restless sometimes.
Not Like Being Corrected	This trait is self explanatory. Here again I would give my example. Recently I started learning to drive. I find it very disturbing and frustrating when somebody corrects me while driving.
More Self-Conscious	Highly sensitive children are more self-conscious. They become conscious when others praise them. They think that people are evaluating and assessing them.

Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child

As I said before, parenting a highly sensitive child is a big challenge. What is even more challenging is:

HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN A HIGHLY SENSITIVE CHILD?

In this section I will share some strategies about building confidence and parenting a highly sensitive child:

Create a Healthy Routine:

Create a healthy routine at home. Highly sensitive children do not like chaos. Try to manage things well. A structured home with predictable routines can help HSC’s stay normal.

Do Not Overreact: 

If you want to make your HNC confident then you need to control your emotions as well. I have seen parents criticize and insult kids in front of their friends and siblings. DO NOT DO THIS!

Never over react in front of your highly sensitive children. Try to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner in front of them as well.

Appreciate them in front of others:

This is very important to foster confidence in your sensitive children. Appreciate them often. Talk about their strengths. Make them ,learn that failure and change are inevitable and they should not be scared of these.

Teach them skills of Self-Regulation:

Teach your sensitive kids to learn practical skills to regulate their emotions. Make them healthy ways to handle their emotional outlets. Reading, drawing , painting, coloring, etc , there are numerous healthy ways to handle emotional outbursts.

Encourage Open-Communication:

 My parents did this with all three of us. Everyday we would discuss our school, college and university routines with our parents. Open communication is important. 

Parents should always be good listeners.

Ask your kids about how their day was at school.Discuss their problems and make them feel comfortable in discussing everything with you.

My Two Cents

Maintaining a healthy home environment and family culture is important. Dealing with highly sensitive children requires a lot of patience. How to build confidence in a highly sensitive child is an issue as long as you don’t address it. 

Understand the symptoms and traits, identify the sensitivity level in your child and make strategies to build confidence in him or her.