How to Stop Yelling at Kids: A Guide for Overwhelmed Parents

Parents yelling at kids is a very common scene. Unfortunately, it shouldn’t be normalized it has. I can understand that being a parent is not easy. Parents yelling at kids happens when frustration gets the best of us. After all parents are human beings too. 

I am not a saint either. Their are so much things that lead to this “parents yelling at kids” behavior. These include:

A messy house

Sibling fights

Most importantly a stubborn child not listening to you.

Remember it is very easy to loose your temper and yell at your child than to have patience and control yourself. Although yelling at kids might seem an easy way to gain child;s attention it can have long term negative impact on your child’s behavior as well. Especially your child’s emotional well being can suffer. So if you are a parent like me who has been wondering “how can I stop yelling at my kids?” you are not alone.

In this blog I will tell you how I have gained control over my yelling and frustration and finally after 7 years of parenting three boys I DON’T YELL ANYMORE.

Believe me this might be the first step towards gentle parenting if you are planning to do so.

Why Do Parents Yell at Their Kids?

Before heading to the treatment it is always important to find the reasons behind it or I must say “diognosis”. Same is the case with yelling at kids. You need to understand and identify the reasons “why do parents yell at their kids?”.

Of course if you are a parent you are well aware of the reasons that make you yell at your kids. If I talk about myself I yell when I am stressed, exhausted, frustrated and my daily responsibilities are all piled up. I want to take a break and my kids are all into calling “mama, mama”.

Other reason is when I want my boys to listen to me and they are not paying attention at all.

One important reason that causes parents to yell on their kids is the parent’s brought up. A lot of us have been brought up in households where yelling was a norm. Therefore we repeat with our kids what we have been through ourselves.

However, frequent yelling can damage the parent-child relationship, making children feel scared, anxious, or unloved. Kids may begin to tune out yelling, requiring parents to escalate their voices even more to get a response. This creates a negative cycle that can be hard to break.

Is Yelling at Kids Considered Abuse?

Many parents worry whether yelling at kids is a form of abuse. While occasional yelling in moments of high stress doesn’t necessarily qualify as abuse, constant yelling, insults, and verbal attacks can be emotionally damaging. Studies show that children who experience chronic yelling may develop anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem.

If you find yourself yelling often, it may be time to step back and reassess your approach to discipline. Instead of relying on yelling, there are healthier ways to communicate with your child while maintaining authority.

The Impact of Yelling on Kids with ADHD

Children with ADHD often struggle with impulse control, emotional regulation, and following instructions. This can be particularly frustrating for parents, leading to more frequent yelling. However, kids with ADHD are also more sensitive to criticism and negative feedback. Yelling at kids with ADHD may increase their emotional dysregulation, making it even harder for them to follow directions and behave appropriately.

Instead of yelling, parents of kids with ADHD can try strategies like:

• Giving clear, concise instructions
• Using visual cues or checklists
• Implementing positive reinforcement
• Practicing patience and deep breathing before reacting

How to Stop Yelling at Kids

One thing that is good about yelling is that it is just a habbit. Habbits can be changed. If you want to maintain a peaceful environment at home you need to follow some practical stgrategies. Here is a list of those practical strategies that can help you remove your habit of yelling at kids.

1. Recognize Your Triggers

Knowing your triggers is the first and most important strategy that can help you stop yelling at kids. Ofcourse if you remove the root cause of yelling you take over it.

You need to focus on situations and behaviors that aggravate you to yell at your kids. In my case messy rooms, homework battles andmorning rush are what leads me to yelling at kids. So what did I do?

Whenever I am tired and exhausted especially when my periods are near I avoid long hours of homework. I would be wrong if I would say I have overcome this habit compeleteley but most of the time and in most of the situations I have succesfuly learnt to control my behavior and tone.

2. Take a Pause Before Reacting

This is something most parents or I would say individuals lack. Always think before you say something or react to something. It is better to respond thoughtfully that to reract impulsiveley and then regret later.

3. Use a Calm Voice

When I was in university I learnt in “Business Communication” that tone is very important. Same is the case with talking to your kids. If you will raise your voice your kids will feel attacked. Try lowering your voice and you will be surprised by the results. Remember your kids are learning from you.

4. Set Clear Expectations and Consequences

Kids need to know what’s expected of them and what will happen if they don’t follow the rules. Instead of yelling, follow through with logical consequences in a calm manner.

5. Teach Emotional Regulation

Help your child learn to manage their emotions by modelling calm behaviour. If your child is upset, guide them through breathing exercises or other self-regulation techniques instead of responding with anger.

6. Practice Self-Care

Self-care is important. Stay-at-home moms usually tend to ignore themselves because they are always too occupied with household chores and kids. This leads them to depression and stressed. Therefore try to prioritise exercise, sleep and moments of relaxation if you want the emotional capacity to parent with patience.

7. Apologize When You Slip Up

No parent is perfect. If you do yell, take responsibility for it. Apologizing to your child teaches them that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s important to own up to them.

MY TWO CENTS

If you’re struggling with yelling at your kids, know that you’re not alone. Parenting is challenging, but by making small changes, you can foster a more peaceful and loving home environment. Whether you’re a mom yelling at kids after a long day or a parent trying to manage a child with ADHD, patience and self-awareness can go a long way in improving communication and strengthening your relationship with your children.

By choosing to stop yelling at kids, you’re not just improving their well-being—you’re also creating a healthier, happier home for yourself. And that’s a win for everyone.