When I was planning to create my parenting blog “Love You Mommy” the first topic that came into my mind was “working mothers”. While I remain continuously distracted by my kids when I am writing this blog, there is no one better than me right now who can address the dilemmas working mothers face.
Although I am a stay-at-home mom and a freelancer, unfortunately, the “desi” culture I am surviving in does not consider freelance mothers as “working”. You have to attend an office and earn a salary to be considered a working mom.
In this blog, I empathize with all the working mothers. I (try my best though) to address the challenges they face as working mothers. I have added some suggestions as well which I wish our corporate organizations follow to facilitate working mothers as much as they can.
I started working as a freelancer when my eldest was just 6 months old. That was the first time I realized how much working mothers have to give up. How much they sacrifice for the sake of providing a better life for their children.
I was working full-time from home with a breastfeeding child. The task which I could have easily completed within 3-4 hours took at least 8 hours to complete. Reason my kid needed milk, he pooped, he was crying or most of the time I couldn’t even understand why he was crying.
“When I felt most helpless was when I had just finished my work by 2 am or 3 am and just when I laid down my kid woke up as he was a restless sleeper”
The cherry on top was that still I was always occupied with mom guilt.
Guilt that I could not play with him,
That I am not full time engaged with him
Guilt that he might have fallen sick because of me
By then I would think about mothers who would leave their kids to daycare and go to the office. Unfortunately in Pakistan, we have a non-supportive society that never accepts working mothers at heart. I personally know many single mothers who HAD to leave their toddlers to daycares with heavy hearts just because nobody was there to look after them. Isn’t the father equally responsible for the kids brought up?
No Support from the Family
I repeat again
The Desi culture is extremely non-supportive for working mothers
This is not hundred percent true but this is true in more than 90 percent of the cases. Working mothers remain divided. A father goes to the office and returns back to cooked meals, cleaned house and a happy wife. But what does a working mother come back to?
She had to cook
Look after the kids
Clean the house
She is expected to do everything she has to do as a stay-at-home mom. Although the dynamics are changing in our society but at a very low pace. Things need to change now. Working women need more support
Balancing the Work and Home Life
Balance is important
However, the hardest balance for working mothers is the one that is between their home life and work life. It’s appraisal month and you have to give your best to climb the corporate ladder. On the other hand, your kid needs to be potty trained now.
Which one is more important
Are you failing as an employee or as a mother?
Working mothers are always occupied by such thoughts. I have seen that women want to be perfect in every role. Especially the modern mother who wants to be a perfect mom. I guess because she is more educated and informed that’s why.
However, always remember that no one is perfect and no matter how hard you try you will always be surrounded by “HOW HAAYYEES”
No Me Time
I, ME, MYSELF
Have you ever reflected upon the fact that much time is important for your mental health and well-being? I guess 90 percent of ladies especially in Pakistan haven’t even gotten the chance to even think about it.
Working women are always so occupied working and doing for others that they hardly get any “me time”.
Still Can’t Spend on Myself
A major dilemma of working women (including myself) is that even when you work in endless shifts you still don’t get the chance to spend on yourself. I earn six figures but where do I spend:
My kids
My house
Guests
Gifts etc
While I continue to write when my 4-year-old is crying for no reason I get the feeling that just like your time your money is also not dedicated to you. Also sometimes if you spend on yourself from your money you are presumed to be “SELFISH”.
when working mothers remain primarily responsible for family care despite working full-time
How to Support Working Mothers in the Workplace
Tailor Made Benefits
If you want to reduce the stress and pressure on working mothers then you should give them tailor-made benefits. Tailor-made benefits are those that match the exact needs of working mothers.
The provision of a daycare system is the first step towards tailor-made benefits. Then comes paid maternity leave.
Another benefit that is least talked about is giving mothers flexible working hours and remote work options as much as possible. This is the best way women can remain part of the work stream and look after their kids as well.
A Healthy Work Environment
The organizational culture and environment of the workplace should be inclusive and flexible for working mothers. It should be ok if a female employee is ascent because her kid is giving her a tough time. It’s ok if she wants to work from home.
Peers at the workplace should have compassionate feelings towards working mothers. After all, they are managing both parts of the world. They are trying their best to give their hundred per cent to both home and work.
The world is changing. In fact, it has already changed a lot. One thing that comes into question in the case of a hybrid work environment is “productivity”. People question whether it has the same productivity level as in-person work.
Well, studies have revealed that there is no difference in productivity level. Both in-person and hybrid work settings have the same productivity level. In fact, job retention and job satisfaction were high values in the case of hybrid working.
My Two Cents:
Being a stay-at-home mom and a working mom for the past 7 years has made me feel that I am blessed. I am blessed to be with my kids yet manage my work as well. As a freelance content writer, I have been working with clients from across the world. I look after my kids and house and work during flexible working hours.
If you are a mother and want to work as well try looking for remote jobs with flexible working hours. You can do this.
I believe when it comes to patience, balance and management we mothers are on an edge as compared to fathers. Thanks to our kids who have made us more patient and resilient.
